fuckyeah-nerdery:

cranzerries:

cranzerries:

I dream to someday run a companies twitter

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Can we just talk about Smart Car doing math on how much bird shit it would take to damage their cars?

(via communistbakery)

meatbicyclevevo:

meatbicyclevevo:

What’s the definition of a will?

Come on guys it’s a dead giveaway

(Source: meatbicyclevevo, via stability)

ohshititsgreg:

A part of me dies every time no one gets my joke

(via cramp)

perks-of-being-chinese:

little blood orange riding hood

(Source: perks-of-being-chinese, via ugly)

shutthefuckupcas:

shutthefuckupcas:

shutthefuckupcas:

My dad accidentally threw a cheese grater at me so I left the room and he yelled “come back here you ungrateful child” while laughing hysterically

Update my mom just told me that if I had even a ‘shred’ of decency I would go back in there

Update #2: my dad apologized and told me he had only done it for ‘the grater good’

(via officialwhitegirls)

lenapropp:

Actually, the Hebrew word for Genisis is Bereshit.

(Source: iraffiruse, via legalmexican)

not-your-typical-indian-guy:

not-safe-for-earth:

relahvant:

stability:

when my kids ask where babies come from im just gonna show them this gif

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jesus christ

*WHEEZING*

I AM DONE WITH TUMBLR.  FUCKING DONE.  BUY A HOUSE IN ALBERTA AND STAY IN IT FOREVER AND NEVER EVER COME OUT.

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

game consoles + startup

(Source: gamersdaily, via z-ojja)

Anonymous asked:
hey my girlfriend asked me to give her oral sex but how do I do it?? c:
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